- Mood:
Neglect - Listening to: Home - Michael Bublé
Rant entry, please ignore. And this is NOT, in anyway whatsoever, an entry to get your sympathy or pity. I just needed to let it out.
"When's the next layout?" he asks.
"Nov. 20," I answer.
"Okay, good thing it's not the 21st because that's my birthday and I don't want to have to stay for layout," he replies.
...
I wonder what he would have said if he knew that I had late layout on my birthday.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I feel underappreciated from the people I'm supposed to be the closest with. I try not to think about it, but the facts are staring me straight in the face. And sometimes, just sometimes, I need to let it out (harhar yb people). And they're never going to read this anyways, so whatever.
So today's my birthday, right? I don't know.. it's like my best friends forgot. Yeah, they wished me a happy birthday... but it just feels like they didn't realize it until other people wished me a happy birthday. And what they did was cute, randomly showing up in 6th and bringing me food. But it just feels like it was put together at the last minute during lunch.
I don't want to sound selfish, but ... it's just that I do so much for them, and this is all I get for it. I buy them random presents when I go on vacations; and trust me, I go on vacations a lot. I put together nice presents when it's their birthday. I spend hours making graphics for them. And I know, you're supposed to give and not expect anything in return, but... is it really so much to ask that my closest friends get me something for my birthday? Granted, they did get me food, but five people paying for a meal? It's not that I'm not grateful, but I wish they did something more personal than just picking up food for me. If it was my ultimate favorite food that I had been craving, it would mean something, but they just picked up the food not knowing if I liked it or not. Another friend baked me a cake and decorated it and wrote a message on it for me, and she wasn't even one of my closest friends. And another one hand-made me a bracelet, and another wrote me a meaningful card. Someone even called me long-distance to wish me a happy birthday. If my closest friends had just made me a card, I would have felt more appreciated... Oh, and they said they were going to bring me something later in the day, but they didn't. Whatever, I don't care any more.
Screw it. Birthdays are overrated anyways. Just.. it hurts a little inside when your best friends don't do much for you on your birthday. And a lot of times, when I say, "It's okay~" and put it off like it doesn't matter much, I'm crumbling on the inside.
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On a brighter note, November 6 is Super Junior's anniversary! Happy 3rd year anniversary to SJ!
Aww
Adoration
Content
)
Tired
Stay healthy and stay warm!
Uneasy
